Essayy help? what do u think of my essay?

The Guide of FreedomHave you ever wondered what freedom is or how we got freedom? Well, if you look in the dictionary or a thesaurus it means "the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint, but freedom means more than that. Freedom has been bought and paid for centuries in the past, freedom has been abused, and freedom is what countries are still fighting for today.First of all, there are many different kinds of freedom such as freedom of assembly, freedom of thought, and freedom of religion. Our ancestors bought and paid freedom with blood, sweat and tears for many centuries, so we should be thankful for what they have done.Although our ancestors worked very hard to get freedom, some people abuse the freedom we have. Abusing freedom means harassing unwitting people, just for the sole purpose of harassment. The effects of abusing freedom includes getting laws passed for the general public that start to bind those freedoms and losing your freedom as well as everyone else.Communist countries such as China and Russia are still fighting for freedom unlike the America. China has been a communist country for over 50 years and Russia has been a communist country for over 30 years. They don’t have the freedom we have. America should be proud of what we have.Over all we should be very thankful of what our ancestors done and what the military is doing for us because America is on of the few countries who have freedom. *avoids the use of trite or worn out words and phrases. Devolpment of them:stayed focus on ideas and thoughts don't ramble. mechanics and neatness: uses proper spelling, grammar and punctuation.

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2 Responses to “Essayy help? what do u think of my essay?”

  1. smirkle says:

    Yes I think it’s very interesting. I wouldn’t worry too much although I’m sure you’ll get an A

  2. remanet says:

    I skimmed it any it makes you look like a typical uneducated American. No offense but there are few mistakes that needs to change. Sorry if I sound mean, but that’s what I get when I read this.You wrote communist countries…Russia. Russia is not a communist country. They have been a republic for about 20 years now. Also they were communists for more than 30 years.Take out ancestors. America is only 300 years old. dont use bought and paid, its awkward.China and Russia are not fighting for freedom. You could use allusions like the Tiananmen Square. You could use the Tibet or Darfur genocides as a better example.Sorry for harsh criticism but I wanted to be frank with it.