Could Someone help me with the wording of this sentence in my essay?

Hi everyone! I'm working on a college application essay and I was proofreading my writing and I realized I used "my life" about a a gazillion times in this paragraph....does anyone have some ideas on rephrasing? Everytime I try, I end up repeating either career path or life again lolWhen I started my career in Pharmacy in 2005, I had very little knowledge of what my position as a Pharmacy Tech would entail. At this point in my life, I was very unsure of the career path I wished to travel and began working at a local retail pharmacy part time to support myself, as I had taken a temporary leave of absence from college to figure out what exactly it was I wanted to do with my life. I had no idea that that decision would forever change my life. Thanks for the help! 10 points best answer :)



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3 Responses to “Could Someone help me with the wording of this sentence in my essay?”

  1. MacBird says:

    well there aren’t that many words you can use except “being”also your wording is quite top notch if you ask me but be a little more meticulous,and creative take your time go use a dictionary or a thesaurus and just think of a word here is a more how can i put this a more “refined” version of your paragraph also anything in parenthesizes delete it i put that there as a note to youWhen I had commenced my career in Pharmacy in the year of 2005, I had very little cognition of what my position as a Pharmacy Tech would entail. At this point in my career(use career not life), I was very equivocal of the profession path I wished to travel and began working at a local retail pharmacy part time to support myself, as I had taken a temporary leave of absence from college to figure out what exactly it was I wanted to do with my life. I had no idea that that decision would forever change my life and my future.(future is there to act as if in a way to excuse life) some words here i am very border line about try your own words on your own level okay?also good luck on your application

  2. venecia says:

    The first sentence is good. Second sentence:At this point in my life, I was very unsure of the career path I wished to travel and began working at a local retail pharmacy part time to support myself, as I had taken a temporary leave of absence from college to figure out what exactly it was I wanted to do with my future. I had no idea that decision would change my life forever. I think since you said it three times first that was so- so if you say it only twice that’s better. try using the phrase “my future” it could work better. Good Luck

  3. madras says:

    Look at this and see what you think . Just an ideaIn 2005 when I began my search for a career, I thought I would become a pharmacist . I did not know then what my first step , or position , would entail. Really , I was not completely sure about becoming a pharmacist so I began working at a local drug storepart time. I took this job after I took a temporary leave of absence from college . This leave was to help me clear my head and make a final decision on my path in life and for me to go ahead and give the drug store business a try . I mean, after all , the final decision I came to, whatever it was , was going to impact my entire life and I did not want to make a mistake on something so vastly important.