How can I make this paragraph sound more interesting?

I am writing an essay about the stereotypes of women and I want to make sure that my introduction paragraph really drew the attention of the reader. Is there anyway I could improve this or is it okay? "Society proves that your ideal lady is some sort of Barbie. She is tall, and leggy with the perfect proportions of an hour-glass shape having curves in all the appropriate places. This ideal woman has the skin of a porcelain doll, and lips of Angelina Jolie, rich and plump with the color of red rubies. Her face is free from any sort of blemish or acne and has her makeup put on oh so perfectly. She has the tan of being at the beach in mid-winter, and is dressed as a model from Vogue magazine. This woman is absolutely perfect. First of all notice that we are only looking at the bodies of woman and nothing else. This is absolutely unrrealistic and unreachable for more than half of the population of females. Not all of us well have that 'perfect body' or those 'perfect lusicous lips' that is just impossible...."



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One Response to “How can I make this paragraph sound more interesting?”

  1. witching says:

    She sports a golden tan in mid-winter…First of all, do notice that we are only concentrating on the physical aspects of a female. This stereotypical “perfect” female may not even encompass one tenth of the female population; indeed, some have been “enhanced” by plastic surgery.